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12 Ways to De-stress

Here is a guaranteed way to be aware of your stress and start doing something about it.

First start being conscious of your feelings. What are you feeling in your body, what are you feeling emotionally and what are you feeling spiritually?

Where are you feeling this stress, are you feeling tightness in your chest, a headache, or a stomachache? 3.What kind of feeling is it? Are you feeling anger, sadness, hurt, panic, etc?

What am I trying not to feel? Now before you run to the refrigerator remember feelings are nothing more than emotions and they cannot hurt you.

Now take some nice long deep breaths and think about what these feelings are connected to. Does it have to do with the fight you had with your boss or spouse? Or does it have to do with what you haven't been saying at home and need to say?

Now think about the challenge that you have before you. Now that you have identified the cause of the feeling try to feel the feelings now that you are conscious of what it's all about.

Next try to think about what's going on with this challenge and how to work through the challenge in a positive manner. Perhaps if you had a fight with your boss you might say to him tomorrow that you are sorry and make amends. Or if you stressed about a up coming test at school you might make a check list of things you need to know for the test and make sure you are ready.

Now that you have worked through that feeling take a few more deep breathes and let it all go. Go for a walk and make time to laugh. It's important to laugh and make fun at what seemed to stress you out. Don't take life so seriously...everyone makes mistakes and has challenges in their lives and so will you. Now, as the old saying goes "laugh in the face of death" or you might interchange stress for death. I think it means the same thing.

Get together with friends and have a good time. Don't sit alone at home thinking this is just the way it is...get out and make life happen.

Have goals, even if you are 90 years old you need goals to aspire too. Otherwise the game is over, make sure you have a reason for getting up in the morning.

Take time for yourself! I know that is hard in this day and age, but very important otherwise you will lose your identity and feel angry at the world.

Enjoy life one day at a time, it will keep you in awe of the simple things like the wind blowing the leaves around in the trees or the ocean crashing to the shore.

Free Stress Tip of the Day

      Are you taking time to read, write, play chess, work on crossword puzzles
      and interacting with other people? Do you laugh out loud, tell jokes, and
      have rituals in your life that make you feel peaceful? Did you exercise
      today? What about going for a nice long walk, listening to the birds and
      allowing your mind to flow away with each and every note they sing? Go for a
      swim and make sure you leave work at work; it's only part of your life.

      Could you sit on a three legged stool if one of the legs were broken? Of
      course not! Then remember the trilogy of who you are is made up of three
      aspects, mind, body and spirit. Forget to take care of one of these aspects
      and everything else is unusable. Like the great pyramids of Egypt all three
      sides support one another. If one side is weak the whole pyramid will
      collapse. Remember a balanced life will keep you happy and relaxed.

New Book

Relax Into Success

Pain Perception

Fear, anger, guilt, loneliness, and helplessness are all mental and emotional responses that can intensify pain. So, in developing an approach to dealing with pain, we can of course work at the lower levels of pain perception, using the tools of modern medicine such as medications and other procedures, but we can also work at the higher levels by modifying our outlook and attitude.

The Dalai Lama

The Process

Death is the end result of a long process called Stress.

Don't give in,

Put on a smile,

Know that the day is worth while.

Ways to De-Stress at Your Desk

While sitting at your desk working away at your computer do you ever get a stiff neck, sore shoulders or a backache. Let me show you a few ways to release all that pent up stress and allow yourself to make it through the day.

First of all push your chair out from your desk far enough that you can bend over without hitting your head on the desk. Now, have both feet flat on the floor and hands on your thighs. Take in a deep breath and let it out, take in another deep breath and this time let it out just a little bit faster. Again, take in another breath and let it out just a bit faster yet. Good!

Now, take in a deep breath and as you exhale slowly bend over at the hips until your chest touches your legs. Do this slowly and be careful of your back, only go as far as feels comfortable. Then inhale as you bring your body back up to the sitting position. Do this process two more times.

Take in another deep breath and grab hold onto the sides of your chair with both hands, one hand on each side of your hips and push down tensing the muscles in your arms and shoulders. Now let your breath out and relax your grip on the chair allowing your arms and shoulders to go limp. Repeat this exercise two more times.

For the third exercise take in another breath while clasping your hands behind the back of your chair. This stretch is good for the chest muscles, but don't overdo it. Breathe out and allow your shoulders to droop and let go of all that tension. Repeat this exercise two more times.

This time place your hands behind your head and take in another deep breath while bending over the back of your chair. Don't go too far, just a little is all that is needed, you don't want to fall over in the chair. Breathe out and allow yourself to come back to the upright position again. Repeat this exercise two more times.

Now straighten your legs out and point your toes and tense up the muscles in your legs and hips while taking in a deep breath. Now exhale and let your legs and hips relax. Repeat this exercise two more times.

This is a great way to let go of stress while sitting down. Only do these exercises to the extent that you can do them. Be conscious of your body and remember these are only recommendations. You know your body better than anyone else so be sure to listen to it throughout the day.

Also, remember to get up every hour and walk around, or just do something different. We all need a break from the humdrum lives that we live.

Stress - Warning Signs

Skipping Group Lunches: A signal someone feels demoralized and not part of their work community.
Coming to work late: One of the first hints that stress is eating away at motivation.
Calling in sick frequently: If people feel they aren't getting a break at work, they may start taking them on their own.
Withdrawing: When someone uncharacteristically retreats from water cooler talk and office banter, it may indicate unhealthy distancing from colleagues.
Obsessing: If colleagues focus on seemingly insignificant matters or isolated incidents, it may mean they are angry or can no longer cope with the big picture.

The Wall Street Journal, January 16th 2001

Too Busy

Take the time to sit down and write out what you're feeling.
Write out what's happening in your life.
Just taking the time to put your feelings in black and white Allowing you to acknowledge what you are going through.
These are usually thoughts that you think fleetingly and then are gone. But when you write them down it brings them to your attention.
Allowing you to feel, what you've been trying not to feel... by being too busy.

Unstringing the Bow.... Relaxing

Back in the middle ages there were legends of men who were called archers. Their weapons were the long bow. Their bow was made of one long straight piece of wood that was very strong and resilient, so it made an excellent archery bow.

Every night the archers had a ritual of taking care of the bow in order to have their bow working for them when they needed it. They would unstring the bow and wax it down, making sure it stood tall and straight.

Then just before going into battle they would string their bow thus placing tension on the string.

If they were to leave the bow strung, after a couple of days the bow was bent out of shape having no strength. These archers learned how important it was to take the tension off the bow so it would be strong and able to send arrows flying when they needed it.

This is exactly what happens to us. If we keep thinking, worrying, striving, moving, all the time, after awhile we get out of shape, we become sprung and we are not able to work the way we want.

Sometimes we go to bed with problems and worry about them all night long. In the morning, we find we have no strength to implement any ideas that might have come to us during the night.

At other times we keep working relentlessly on one project until there is an answer.... thinking that pushing ourselves is going to make us more creative. But when we finally relax we become even more creative and more productive. It also allows our body to heal including our immune system. Our immune system keeps us from coming down with all kinds of diseases such as cancer, shingles, heart attacks and more.

You say, "But how do I unstring the bow?" .....STOP THINKING FOR A LITTLE WHILE! This is what meditation, doing mantras, yoga, Tai Chi, QiQong, swimming, running, walking and anything else that lets our mind just be quiet for a while does. It shuts off the incessant noise of the machine we call our brain that gets in the way of healing and being peaceful inside.

I am dealing with a person right now that never stops thinking. Because of this, his body has gone downhill, his creativity is a lot lower than it should be, and he is tired all the time. If he doesn't stop this process the next step for him is to really get sick. He is the one who has to turn this process around, no one else can do it for him.

Don't be like this man, learn to relax deeply! Even sleeping is not relaxing, so take some time to relax and live a long happy, healthy, creative, abundant life. Remember to unstring the bow.

Finding Your Path

If you were born Jewish or Catholic or Episcopalian and a koan from a Buddhist monk suddenly changes your life, that doesn't make you a Buddhist. What it means is that you are willing to examine and rewrite your own source code in the hope of finding a closer connection to God.

Nathan Brockman

The Hill of Life

Exercise is not something that you can put off for tomorrow.

Exercise is a process of getting stronger, increasing your vitality, your energy, and helping you to relax deeply.

And everyday you put it off you are moving in the opposite direction.

Are you going to move up the hill of life?

Or slide down to the bottom?

The Loss of Stress Leads to Inner Peace

Are you stressed? Then let take a look at what's causing you to be stressed. Are you stressed over money, being lonely, too much to do, what others are saying about you, what others are doing, there's just no fun in your life, and worrying all the time? These are the seven big areas that people have a hard time dealing with.

Let's take the first one, money, are you doing all you can do to earn your maximum earning potential? If not then you must sprinkle action over your ideas to make wealth take root in your garden of prosperity. Perhaps your actions and energies are being sent in the wrong direction. Sometimes you have to stand back, and see if you are happy at what you're doing, and find others to give you ideas as to what the next step might be. And lastly, you just might have to stop what you are doing and try something different until you find the right work that will help other people. All else is needless worry.

Are you stressed over being lonely? Then you're not the only one; there are so many people in the United States that are lonely. So what are you doing about it? Are you getting out and meeting people. Or are you sitting at home hoping someone will come knocking on your door? Another attitude is to find love and intimacy with lots of people; you can extend love to everyone around you and ask for a hug anytime. Here in the United States we look at love as being a romantic relationship between two people. In other countries love is everywhere, love is extended to neighbors and friends, and love, care and compassion is given back freely. It doesn't have to be romantic to be love. Love comes in many forms and packages.

Are you stressed with too much to do? Then stop and rethink what you are doing. Are all the things you're doing important? Would it be possible for someone else to help you out with some of the things on your to do list? Perhaps it's time to ask for help. And lastly, perhaps it's time to simplify and your life. If all the running around ends up killing you is it worth it? Of course not, so why not stop now. The biggest reason is that you have habits built around all this busy stuff that need to be changed and re-prioritized. So make time to find out what's important in life.

Are you stressed over what other people are saying about you or others? So tell me, what does it really matter what others are saying as long as you know what the reality is? Nothing. Words are only words and we only give words power when we allow then to have power over us. Oh yes! Words do have great power, but it is great power that is given freely not taken from someone. You can listen to someone talk about many things throughout your day and as soon as they start to push your buttons you react. The key is to not react. This is your life, not theirs, and you can decide how to react, and live life according to how you want to live it by thinking, and not reacting.

Are you stressed over what other people are doing? Then who made you the ruler of the Universe? We only have control over one person, and guess who that is? Ourselves! We cannot make anyone do anything; they have to live their own life. When we worry about what someone else is doing with their life, usually it's because we don't want to look at our own life. This is the time to pull in the reins and look at the home turf. This is where all the answers lie for your life. Stop putting off the changes you have been thinking about for a long time. At this point it doesn't matter what others are doing, it's more important what you are doing.

Stressed because there is no fun in life? Then it's time to open your eyes and go out and find fun. Where I live there are all kinds of fun things going on almost every day. But most of us sit at home wishing we were having fun. That won't cut it. Again it's time to put action in place and make life happen. Have fun for you, not for anyone else, and don't wait for that special someone to come along, it may never happen. Start having fun now, now is the only time there is. You can't have fun in the future or the past, now is the name of the game. Go out and make it happen.

Are you stressed because you're worrying all the time? The only thing worry does is bring you down, and start the cycle of depression. If we could harness the energy we put into worrying every day and make energy from it we could light up the city of New York for a full month on one day's worry from the people in the United States. Don't waste that energy; put it to good use. Instead of worry, make good use of your time and volunteer with people that need your help. Then if you still find yourself worrying, allow yourself to be in the moment and know that everything is fine right here and now.

If you deal with these seven major habits of worry and stress in your life you will be closer to attaining a state of Inner Peace. As the old saying goes "The Symptoms of Inner Peace are: A tendency to think and act spontaneously rather than on fears based on past experiences. An unmistakable ability to enjoy the moment. A loss of interest in judging other people. A loss of interest in judging the self. A loss of interest in interpreting the actions of others. A loss of ability to worry. Frequent, overwhelming episodes of appreciation. Contented feelings of connectedness with others and nature. Frequent attacks of smiling. An increased tendency to let things happen. And an increased susceptibility to Love which is extended by others as well as the uncontrollable urge to extend."

Boats

We are dashing against each other like boats: Our eyes are darkened, though we are in clear water.

Jelaluddin Rumi Mathnawi

A Dream

In my dream my Dad appears, and we are at an amusement park, He says let's ride though the house of Terror. I say great, lets go, and go to get my ticket.

But before I could get back, Dad is riding off in another car, And I have to take a car all by myself.

As the door opens there are all kinds of ghoulish creatures that are covered with hair, which bellow and scream in terror, And I'm frightened to death.

Then all of a sudden it comes to me, This is not real; there is nothing to fear.

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